Silent Thunder
by heavy.sighs.and.sad.goodbyes
Summary: Well, this bites the bullet, doesn't it boys? Leah's first phase.


_Silent Thunder_

Summary: Well, this bites the bullet, doesn't it boys?

* * *

I was just laying in my bed the day it happened. My father had died just an hour earlier, and I was mourning. I was walking through the forest, thinking of him. About how me and my father always used to do this. I hadn't walked with him since before Sam and I started dating…

I shook my head and wiped the tears away.

I went to the meadow. It was far-off, a long walk, but I needed to go there. Nobody knew about it. Not even my father. I had stumbled upon it one day when I was walking after Sam broke up with me for…her. And then it was my place.

I sighed when I reached the field. It'd been a long time. I smiled, really smiled, and ran to the middle of the field. I circled around with my arms out. The sun peaked through, and then it disappeared quickly. I heard a loud crash of lightning. But I didn't move. I stayed where I was, twirling, pretending for one second I was a princess that had just gotten the news that she'd get her happily ever after.

And then it poured. I laughed and danced in it. So my father had just died. So I didn't have Sam anymore. Maybe now, instead of missing Sam, I could miss my dad. Sam could be replaced by my dead father. I smiled bigger at the thought, sticking my tongue out to catch the big, fat raindrops as they fell from the sky. They were falling so fast and hard that they felt like daggers on my skin, but it felt good.

And tears rolled down my cheeks. But it's not like it mattered. Nobody would've known the difference between the tears and the rain anyway. It felt like somebody was watching me, but I kept going. I didn't care who it was. I hoped they were enjoying the free entertainment.

And then I felt a flash of anger running through my veins. My laughter broke off suddenly, echoing off the walls with the thunder. I didn't know where that came from. I thought I was happy. I had been happy and sad just a moment ago. Why was I angry?

I felt my whole body twitch as another jolt of anger passed through me. I tried to fight it; tried to harbor the feeling. I wasn't angry. I was happy. Because I was finally going to get rid of every memory of Sam. The thought made me laugh and smile again, but the laugh sounded nervous.

I gasped as fear _and _anger filled me. I tried to fight it. I tried to hold it back, but it wouldn't go away. All the feelings of happiness were gone. I hadn't been this angry since… since the day after Sam broke up with me and I saw him and Emily outside my bedroom window, walking down the street holding hands.

The thought made me angrier, and then it was pain. I felt like the rain was drowning me, choking me the pain was so intense. And out of nowhere, I threw my head back and let a loud growl through my lips. I looked forward again and raised a hand to my mouth to hold back the gasp. And then I started crying for real.

I wasn't stupid. I knew something was about to happen. I got down on my knees, then fell onto both my hands. The gasps for air were violent. I raised a hand to my stomach and tried to bring in air, but I just sucked in water. I gasped and cried. Now I was screaming and gasping. I was hiccupping. I knew what was gonna happen, and I knew that I had to calm myself down before it could happen.

I took deep even breaths. And then the shaking was over. And I could breathe. And the rain stopped. When I had fully regained control, I looked up and let a smile light up my whole entire face. A sense of pride filled me. I had done it. I had gotten through it. All by myself.

I stood up and laughed again, a gentle smile on my face as the sun shined through the clouds. I stood up and held my arms out again. I spun once, and then, something was different. The feeling of anger came too late. And then I was something else. I was on my knees again. No, not my knees. I could feel my feet on the ground. I looked down and saw…paws. Big furry ones that were almost the size of dinner plates.

And that's when I heard the voices. And then I saw the others step out of the woods. I knew which one was which immediately. And then I was running. I didn't know why, but I was, and I was fast. I could feel my abnormally long fur blow in the wind and fly back into my eyes.

I ran faster. The voices didn't slow though. They just kept up with me and my abnormally fast legs.

_Leah, stop! We're just trying to help!_

_Leah, he's telling the truth._

_Leah, be careful of the highway._

I veered off to the right and continued running, away from the highway. I couldn't believe this. And then one single voice echoed in my thoughts.

_Leah. Heel._

I stopped, sliding on the wet ground as I did. I panted, but then realized that there was plenty of air in my lungs and that I was not breathless. I looked over my shoulder at Sam and then turned to face him.

_Heel? Heel?! What is that?! You could have just said stop like any normal person, you jackass!_

A few of the guys laughed, but I maintained anger as I stared into Sam's eyes. He was taller than me. I was looking up slightly, but that was okay. I hadn't been this close to him in a while. It felt good.

_Ugh, please. Leah, that's disgusting. He's a taken man, haven't you heard? Or maybe you just forgot._

I gulped at Paul's words, and closed my eyes. I turned away and began pacing back and forth.

_Paul! That's enough._

I was glad that Sam was sticking up for me at least. At least he cared still. I thought that he had stopped caring for me completely when he started dating that whore of a best friend of mine…

_Leah._

I could hear the anger in his voice, but I just smirked and kept pacing.

_Leah!_

I turned and looked at him, giving him my most evil look.

_Don't you __**ever**__ say that about Emily again. Do I make myself clear?_

I looked at him defiantly.

_You can't tell me what to think or not think about somebody, Sam. It's a free country. I could say it out loud if I wanted to. Last time I checked, anybody could think whatever the hell they wanted anywhere in the world because their thoughts are private and nobody could figure out what they were thinking, but I can't anymore!_

Everybody was quiet. I couldn't believe they all actually listened to that. I turned and continued pacing.

_So this…this is your cult I guess._

_Yes._

_And why am I in it? Why are you torturing me like this Sam? I'm trying my hardest to let go and this isn't making anything any easier…_

_You think I want you here?_

I stumbled slightly under the harsh words, but I knew what he meant, so I kept pacing.

_No. I know you don't. You never do, did, have, will, etcetera._

_That's not true and you know it._

_I do not know that at all. In fact, I'm not sure what I know right now. Minutes ago, I was happy and good and floating on cloud nine, and now… now it's all different._

They all stood there silently, so I spoke again.

_How do I get back in human form? How can I not ever be this… thing again? Tell me __**everything**__ you know._

So they told me. And told me. And told me. Everything. And I started to understand. I didn't want to understand, but I did. I understood why Sam had chosen Emily. I understood why I was like this. I understood that I would be naked when I changed back into a human. Great.

I stared at them while they all talked, every once in a while cracking a joke to try and make it a little bit better for me. I just stared at all of them.

When they were done, I stared some more. And then I felt a tear, and this time, there was no rain to hide it. I shook my head slowly.

_No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, NO!_

And in seconds I was ripping apart everything in sight, vicious growls erupting in my throat that scared me.

When I was done destroying part of the trees in the area, I sighed sadly. I walked over to the creek that ran just a little bit away. I laid down beside it, crossing my paws under my chin. I looked at my reflection. My usual face was no longer there. I could hear their footsteps behind me.

And then I thought of all the misery I could cause them, and I smiled slightly, the happy feeling from a few hours ago rising again. I could feel them all cringe. And before they could say anything, I thought of the person thing to say. I raised my head and looked at them over my shoulder, a slight smirk playing at my lips.

_Well, this bites the bullet, doesn't it boys? _


End file.
